


Be brave, I’m coming to hold you now

by spotofpurple



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, justification for louis not going to harrys birthday party really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 09:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spotofpurple/pseuds/spotofpurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Just you go and have a good time. Phone El and have fun with her. Or better yet, have fun with Andy, I hear he might be convinced to experiment, if you know what I mean. Oh, and Liam, be a sweetheart and show Louis a good time tonight, will you Daddy?”, he hisses it out and stutters away. Niall is doing shots and he might just join in, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry is half convinced that it’s ok if he is the “dude” , because Louis was the “pal”. But then he remembers how he spent three hours before Louis’ birthday party fussing over his hair, because he was trying to be perfect for Louis. He doesn’t consider himself perfect, he never has though. But sometimes, especially in the early days of One Direction, Louis used to say it at least once in an hour, and Harry was trying to look like that Harry, the one Louis fell for. And he remembers how many love bites Louis left on him that night, because the smell of Taylor stuck to his skin like glue and Louis was furious, then sad, then horny, finally, happy, because his Harry was trying as much as he could to make him so.

Then he realizes that there really is no excuse for Louis to happily claim that he will come see him on his birthday party with Liam and then go to Andy’s, like it’s something people do. Like it’s perfectly normal for your boyfriend to do that. Harry is furious, but there is really nowhere to went the fury out, because it’s his birthday and his mum came to London and Gemma is the happiest he heard from her lately and Grimmy is trying hard to make everything fun and legendary and they already had one night out that was crazy, so he only has to push through this one with a smile stuck to his face and the fury will go away by the morning. Harry knows it, because he is never liked fighting, and he especially never likes to fight with Louis, so he will just let this slide. Maybe ignore Louis a bit when he stops by, thank Liam for coming anyway, because he knows that Daddy Direction will feel guilty for leaving him, even if it is Andy’s birthday and he will just have fun with Niall and Zayn and the rest of the idiot he calls his friends.

***

Things might not have gone according to plan. They, certainly, certainly didn’t. Zayn phoned and stumbled through an apology but Harry was very certain that the reason he isn’t coming is his sex-marathon with Perrie after the cheating rumors and really, he is glad that at least someone in the band has a relationship that can be fixed with a lot of sex and cuddling. Everyone knows that he and Louis tried, but, contrary to the popular belief, he and Louis were never really that much about sex. They are more the old married couple type, getting on everyone’s nerves and being idiots together constantly. Sure, the sex was great, but it never managed to fix anything, because. How does sex solve Eleanor sleeping in a room down the hallway, or Taylor waiting in the other dressing room to leave on a date with Harry? It helps, but never solves.

So Harry gets a little bit angry at Liam, just because he can. He thinks :”Who the fuck do you think you are to go strutting around London with MY boyfriend and make it seem like the most natural thing in the world?!” and “Get your hand off of him Payne or I swear you will have a reason to remember your own last name more clearly than you already do!” And other things, but all in the same context of him now apparently hating on one of his best friends because he can do with Louis what Harry can’t. It goes without saying that he is pretty drunk already when this internal battle of stupidity occurs.

And of course, Niall comes on time and he is as bubbly and charming and just Niall as always, so he can’t very well yell at him, can he? Because really, there is anger management issues, and there is just pointless kicking of puppies, and Harry is not at that level. Yet.

Louis comes and Harry growls at him and goes to hang out with Grimmy, and enjoys Louis’ angry stare when Nick pulls Harry to him and whispers something in his ear. That something being: ”I will not sacrifice myself to that sassy queen of yours so that you can pull off the jealousy card Styles. I value my own life more than that.” Harry shrugs and backs away a little, but by the time he looks at where Louis was standing, he sees him happily talking to Liam and really, how can he not pull Nick’s hand over his own shoulders and snuggle into him, ignoring the horrified look that Grimmy shots at him.

At some point, Louis comes over to congratulate the damn birthday again and to apologize because him and Liam really have to go.

“There is this other party and things are already pretty wild here, so… Niall will make sure that you get home safely Hazza.”

And that is where Louis expects Harry to melt at the nickname, but not this time apparently, because the only thing that is going through Harry’s head is “Wild didn’t bother you the other night you little…” and he never gets to finish the sentence in his head, because what stumbles out of his mouth is:

“Whatever, dude, Grimmy will take me home. Won’t you, Nicky…”, and he snuggles closer into Nick, who goes even stiffer right beside him and starts shaking his head, but Louis growls and pulls Harry right off of him.

He is leading him into the secluded area beside the bathroom and Harry is furious still:

“Careful, pal, there are paps all over the place, to you want to get this on camera?”, and Louis growls some more.

“What the hell are you doing?! You know this is what we need to do, how the fuck would it look like if I was the one taking you home tonight?!”

Harry is blinking the angry tears away and then he sees Liam approaching and chuckles.

“Just you go and have a good time. Phone El and have fun with her. Or better yet, have fun with Andy, I hear he might be convinced to experiment, if you know what I mean. Oh, and Liam, be a sweetheart and show Louis a good time tonight, will you Daddy?”, he hisses it out and stutters away. Niall is doing shots and he might just join in, right?

***

Liam pushes a trembling Louis outside and pulls him in the car waiting.

“I can’t leave NOW! You heard him Liam, he thinks you and I are going to fuck!”, he yells and is still trying to push his way out, but Liam has a firm hand on him.

“You and him talking now will cause a scene. We do not need a scene with all those paps inside. Am I clear on this one Louis?”, he says firmly and Louis is gaping at him.

“Harry will do something stupid! You know he will!”

“I told Niall to keep an eye on him. It will be fine. Really Louis, it’s your own fault, you should have discussed this before you went and called him “dude” and decided to go to Andy’s party. I mean, nobody will mind having you there, but you could’ve discussed your reasons with him.”

Liam is right, Louis knows he is. He shuts up and glares through the window at the streets they pass, driving away from the source of problem. And the solution also, if he is being honest.

“There was no time. I know it sounds like bullshit, but it really wasn’t. We just recovered from almost ruining my birthday and we were supposed to talk after the Taylor thing ended, but then we were in Japan and it was so… us. You know? Like old times, when it was perfect and I didn’t know… I never spoke about it. When he told me about the party I tried to avoid thinking about how I can’t even congratulate him in public, at least not properly, and you know how he is. If I don’t remind him often of how fucking much this means to me, he gets gloomy and sad and I was planning to fix it, to discuss it and everything. But then it was two parties and he was a little happy kid planning it and Zayn needed our help for the cheating-rumor-fixing-thing he is doing, and Harry was worried for him and I didn’t have the heart…”

“You mean you didn’t have the balls.”, Liam interrupts and it is such a funny thing to hear from Liam that Louis almost starts laughing. Almost.

“I suppose. I never knew how to talk about this. He is going to hate me now. He really is. How am I ever going to explain that I am doing this because I though it will be easier for both of us?”, and the tears are there, brimming over and flowing, out, out, out.

Liam pats him on the back and assures him and Harry will not hate him and that he needs to suck it up and talk to him and it will be fine.

The car stops and the party is there.

“Will you be ok mate?”, Liam asks him and Louis nods.

Right. Perfectly fine.

***

Two hours in and a dozen shots down, Harry is certain everything will be fine. If Niall has to hold him up and seems to be having a silent conversation with Nick over the curls drunkenly snuggled in Niall’s shoulder (“Tomlinson is less likely to kill you then to kill me, so you take the cuddling over, there are paps everywhere.”), well that is perfectly normal.

At some point, Niall takes him out to get some fresh air and Harry sobers up enough to start explaining to Niall how he is really fine and who the hell gives a fuck about Louis? When they get back inside, Nick positions him in the middle of the room and mouths an apology to Niall. Harry doesn’t get it, why does Nick look like he repents doing something?

And there it is. Or rather, she. Nicholas bloody Grimshaw hired him a stripper. As if he has any chance of surviving the next meeting with Louis now.

Harry isn’t really sure what to do with himself. He is half terrified, because there is a woman getting naked in front of him. He is also trying not to laugh too much, because this is also hilarious and the woman looks like she could be his mother. Which was the point probably, cougar loving womanizer or whatever.

Niall is laughing too and only one thing pushes through to Harry in that moment. He is mad at Louis still. But.

“Louis is going to kill me.” , and he covers his face with his hand and groans when there is an unmistakable flash from somewhere.

***

Louis nods his head to the music and smiles at Andy and Liam getting childish over magic tricks. He notices a couple of girls giggling over their phones right beside him at the bar and he is confused when they blush at his glance.

Was it something about him?

He fishes out his phone and decides to entertain himself with twitter, but while he is typing his password in, the girls giggle again and he looks over and they are less shy now, because one of them approaches him.

“Hi, um… It’s a bit strange that you are not there with Harry? He looks like he is soooo embarrassed, I think you would find this funny.”, and she shows him what they were laughing about.

Five minutes later, Louis is outside in the car driving home and leaving crescent shaped bloody marks on the skin of his forearm, right over the paper airplane tattoo.

Harry is going to sleep with someone tonight. He is going to do it because he is angry and Louis was so stupid and Nick is there just waiting, and he got Louis’ boyfriend a stripper for his birthday and maybe this would be funny if Harry wasn’t so livid and…

His thoughts operate in an infinite loop of doubt, pain and utter horror. But he still doesn’t go to Harry, because some part of Louis, a big part, really thinks that he fucking deserves this, because “dude”?!


	2. Be brave, I’m coming to hold you now, Pt.2

Niall is screaming in Harry’s ear that they should go because the party was good but enough is enough. Harry hears a jumbled mess of something in his head and since the voice is strangely like Niall’s he nods, even though he hasn’t got a clue what is being said. Nick is plastered as much as everyone is, but then Harry has outdone all of them. Or so screams this loud blonde with ripped tights in Harry’s ear and he thinks that it’s true, but can she please remove her hand from his from his lap?

It’s when Niall starts dragging him outside that his phone vibrates in his pocket and he answers slowly and reluctantly. Niall huffs, leaves him propped up against a wall and wanders ahead, shouting that he will clear something with the driver and for Harry not to dare and move from where he left him. Somehow, Harry doesn’t think that will be a problem, because his legs are giving up on him and he is sitting on the cold floor even before he manages to moan something resembling a “Hello?”in the phone.

He doesn’t know who it is because he is not in a state to read from the display, but a hiccup that resonates through to him is sobering enough. Literally. He props himself against the wall and clears his throat into a clear sounding :”Yes?”He knows now who it is, of course he does.

“Harry…”, Louis says and Harry has to squeeze his eyes shut and bite his lip fiercely. He will not cry. Yet.

“Uh…”, he says slowly.

“Harry can you hear me? Can you talk?”, Louis says carefully and Harry is dimly aware that his boyfriend shouldn’t be asking whether he can talk, because they are not hiding from anything, they are in love and… Oh, wait.

“Yeah.”, he forces out and he would love it if he could speak properly, but his tongue is a twisted knot producing huffs and moans and nothing else.

“Are you… are you alone?”, Louis asks and Harry can hear the tears in his voice.

He nods.

“Ok, no, probably not, but can you just… Don’t do it, please don’t do it now. Tell Nick to fuck off, please baby. Come home, please.”, and he is openly sobbing into the damn phone. Harry has a frown set in place for a while, because he really doesn’t get it that Louis couldn’t see him nod.

“’m ‘lone.”, he says then and Louis takes a deep, deep breath and then releases is so slowly that Harry can almost feel him on his eyelashes. They have this thing, or rather Harry has a thing, when he is desperate for affection and reassurance and love, Louis will hug him, lay on him, get as close as possible and bring their foreheads together, synchronizing his breath with Harry and refusing to move. Sometimes, the only thing that really calms Harry down is feeling like he is breathing Louis in and exhaling the pain out. Because Louis is a superhero, he is Harry’s superhero and how do they manage to get this as fucked up as it is?

“They… Who left you alone Harry, you are drunk, are you safe?!”, Louis asks after that infinite breath and Harry wants to scream, because he is angry, so angry still and the only one who can pacify him is the one who made him this angry in the first place.

“You bastard.”, and that is the only thing that he can say clearly?!

Louis chokes on his own tears again and breaths slowly out. Again. Harry is trembling and crying himself and this is not how it was meant to be. Ever.

Niall shows up, frowning and demanding for Harry to get the fuck up to they can go into the car and who is he talking to anyway? Harry is choking on the sheer terror of breathing again. Air hurts.

He is barely aware of Niall snatching the phone from him and talking to Louis, just a couple of sentences and then he is being pulled up and dragged towards the door. He is fumbling to take the phone away and call Louis and explain and scream and shout his lungs away. And then he wants for Louis to see that all the while he was only scared of being left alone. For Andy, or Eleanor, or Liam or whoever approaches Louis and shows him that there are easier lives to lead.

Niall groans and pushes him through the door, grumbling about how he is going to take him home to Louis and then he is going to sleep, thank you very much.

Harry is so elated when he hears that he is going home to Louis that he sways this way and that and there are flashes as he is being held up by the security guards.

***

Louis is hugging his knees to his chest and sobbing uncontrollably as he waits for the door to open. The hallway is dark and he recalls how deadly it can be when two people are trying to stumble through it half-drunk without breaking lip-contact.

The tries to be calm, but after deciding to call Harry and beg him to just come home and then finding out that Harry is drunk beyond belief and that he is not having sex with someone (Nick!), but sobbing somewhere on his own because Louis fucked up, he lost the knowledge of how to be calm and just disintegrated into a mess of:

“Please Niall, bring him home, please, I am begging you, please, I know I was wrong, but please…”

It is half an hour later when the door opens and Niall is supporting Harry through it.

It looks bad, but by the way Niall is holding Harry up, Louis concludes that it was even worse half an hour ago, so he keeps his mouth shut and helps him bring Harry inside. Niall excuses himself to the guest room, saying that he is going to let himself sleep on this and deal with it in the morning.  
And Louis would probably do the same, if it weren’t for Harry’s hand flying out of nowhere and covering his forearm, the compass and the paper plane and the OOPS! He lifts his head up and he is met with angry, tearful green. Silence is all that surrounds them for a couple of minutes. Louis screams inside of himself for Harry to do something, anything.

“Had fun with Liam?”, Harry asks and now he sounds tired and angry but not so drunk anymore and Louis wonders how long did it take for him to sober up enough to form full sentences.

He shakes his head and looks up while trying to blink the tears away.

“I didn’t… There is no one else.”, he says and is back looking into Harry’s eyes. They flash at him, but nothing else happens.

“Why then? Why would you dismiss me like it was nothing? Andy is a better party planner?!”, Harry screams and it is enough of a surprise for both of them, because Louis jumps a little.

“No! No Harry I was trying… I don’t even know what anymore. I thought it was the only way to keep the management happy and the public happy and you would have fun with your friends and you would come home and we would talk about it.”

“What is there to talk about Louis?! What?! Tell me!”, he is screaming again.

“I… I don’t know. I was thinking too much and not doing anything and now… I hurt you, I know, but I didn’t go with Liam to hurt you. I didn’t even want it! I wanted to stay and make you see reason, make you see that Nick will not be taking you home, because I will, I always will…”

“It’s a bit hard to do that if you’re not even there Louis.”, Harry interrupts him.

“I know! I know Harry, ok?! I knew it even before I saw the damn stripper grinding herself on your fucking lap like she can do it and it won’t be a fucking big deal!”

Harry settles back into the couch and rubs at his temple nervously.

“I didn’t ask for the stripper Louis. I know you are angry because of it, but it wasn’t my idea!”

Louis nods at him and pulls at his hair to calm his nerves a little, because going out right now to kill Nicholas Grimshaw is not an option. Harry groans and drops his head in his hands and starts shaking it like he is trying to get rid of something.

They keep quiet for a while and Louis forgets why he was pissed off, but he doesn’t forget why Harry is pissed off.

“You looked uncomfortable with her on your lap.”, he says.

Harry snaps his head back up and glares at him.

“Of course I was uncomfortable, she isn’t you! And I couldn’t even laugh it off properly because you were somewhere else getting drunk with Andy of all people!”, he shouts and then shakes his head again. The tears start. Again. Louis concludes that what he really needs to do is stop those tears.

He climbs on Harry’s lap and straddles him, wipes the tears away and combs his hair back.

“Hey. Hey, there, don’t… Look at me Harry.”, he orders and Harry does. It is a desperate look, one that screams with the need to be fixed.

“I am sorry. I am, I know it makes no difference now, but I would always choose you first, if I could choose freely and if I could choose without having to think about it. Always.”

The last always is spoken right to Harry’s lips and then Louis tastes alcohol and cake and Harry and he moans into his mouth. The kiss is messy and sloppy but they both love it and Louis presses himself closer to Harry, feeling a pair of big hands clawing at his back. A moment later, he is grinding down on his boyfriend and he doesn’t even remember getting hard, but does it matter?

He pulls of and climbs off of Harry, who whines and goes to follow him, but Louis presses him in the couch and begins to remove his clothes. Harry’s eyes darken with need as he follows Louis’ hands removing a pair of jeans and a purple shirt which suits him, it really suits him.

When he climbs back on his lap, Louis is naked and flushed and Harry arches up into him, so that Louis throws his head back and moans. He fumbles with Harry’s belt and pushes the shirt with the hearts up, smiling to himself silently, because he loves the shirt, he would wear the shirt and he definitely has a clue why Harry picked it out in the first place.

The younger boy is groping at Louis’ ass when he gets the belt on Harry’s jeans to comply and allow his hand the access inside finally. Harry’s reaction would be surprisingly eager if Louis didn’t know what the first touch does to him. He arches up and pulls Louis closer, like he can’t really decide what he wants to do. Louis chuckles and climbs off of him again. He doesn’t allow Harry the time to whine about it now though, because Harry’s jeans is ripped from his hips before he brings them back to the couch and then Louis’ mouth is on him. The noise he makes is illegally delicious while his hand tangles itself into Louis’ hair and strokes the way he knows Louis likes it.

It takes a few minutes, but Harry is embarrassingly close and he tries to tell it to Louis, but it seems that he doesn’t have to, because the older gets up from the floor and straddles Harry again, this time with a determined glint in his eyes. Harry can’t stop staring, trying not to come at the sight of Louis preparing himself, with his hands where Harry can’t see because why would he when Louis is staring at him like that?

He doesn’t do it for long enough, Harry knows this because he is the bottom most often and he is bigger than Louis so this is going to hurt at least a little. He knows, and so does Louis, because he brushes off Harry’s attempts to stop him and grips the base of his cock with one of his hands while grabbing Harry’s shoulder with the other and he sinks down like his insides are not on fire. Harry forms an “O” with his mouth and stares harder. Louis is not backing down from the stare though, as if he is trying to prove a point and just rests there, with Harry buried deep in him.

It takes a moment, but Harry finally gets it and he grabs at him with despair, because the pain of this night is surfacing up, chocking him and dripping out of his eyes. Louis releases a breath he was holding and goes where Harry pulls him, their foreheads together and their breaths mixing. It is sad and desperate and glorious at the same time and when Louis intertwines the fingers of both of their hands together and pushes on them to get up, but Harry pulls him back down like he can’t stand Louis moving away an inch, even if it is to ride him, they just stay there. Breath turns into a gasp and Louis rocks gently this way and that and Harry grips his hands tighter and then brings one pair of their hands over Louis’ heart, so that his longer fingers can just barely feel the racing beat beneath. Louis recalls then, with stunning clarity, why exactly was kissing this boy when he was 16 the best idea he ever had.

They last long like that, a layer of sweat covering them and Louis breaking the hold of their hands, the pair that was on his heart only to clumsily remove the shirt off of Harry. He needs to see the ink on Harry, the proof of ownership as clear as day for anyone who has eyes.

When he brings his hand back to Harry’s, he looks at Louis and growls something that sounds like:

“I have you.”

Then he leans forward and sinks his teeth into the flesh over Louis’ heart, where his fingertips rested before and Louis is gone. He comes listening to a chant of:

“Mine,mine,mine.”, whispered straight to his heart and it is perfect.

Harry doesn’t make the effort to move after Louis comes back to his senses, still lost in the act of claiming him. Louis shakily removes his hands from Harry’s and intertwines them behind Harry’s neck, adjusting to a position from which he can push off and come back down on Harry. The younger is combing the muscles on Louis’ sweaty back and pulling him closer still, staring up and never breaking eye contact. He is close, very close, Louis can tell from the slight jerk in his hips, so he grips at the back of Harry’s neck harder , whispers a simple :”I love you” and Harry is coming.

It takes a while for him to get his breath back but Louis presses his forehead back to Harry’s and waits. And then Harry is kissing him and it is the best kiss yet, because he can practically feel the emotion flowing between their mouths.

They lie down on the couch and Harry covers them with a blanket. Not a word is spoken as Louis grips at Harry’s arms and buries his face into Harry’s neck. He wouldn’t move for the world.

***

Tomorrow, Niall escapes before either Harry or Louis are awake. They see no problem in staying in the entire day, lazy kisses and snuggles exchanged and if later, when he is completely over his hangover, Harry enters the kitchen to see Louis trying to cook dinner and he fucks him over the counter, he will just claim it couldn’t be avoided.

He thinks that Zayn is no longer the only one who can fix things with sex and tells him so when he phones later during the evening. Zayn laughs and claims knowledge off all things Larry Stylinson has yet to figure out and Harry giggles.

Liam phones half an hour later and he is stuttering that he really, really, doesn’t want Louis like that, so could Harry please not repeat what he said last night ever again? Louis laughs and snuggles closer to Harry, so he doesn’t really mind telling Liam that he is sorry and that he didn’t mean it like that. Which he maybe did, but a wise Harry and in-love-with-Louis Harry were never a match, so…

Things are good now, or so Harry thinks. Louis thinks so too, and as long as two people believe in it, even a lie is a truth, so neither dwells on it.

When Nick comes over next week, Harry enters the living room to see a very dangerous looking Louis (which would translate into a very sassy looking Louis) and a flustered Nick stuttering about the stripper being just a joke and he apologizes and promises that he will never even think about doing anything like it again, because: “ I am rather fond of my balls Tomlinson. And my quiff.”

Louis nods and sits down stretching his arms out so Harry can come and snuggle with him. He is wearing a familiar dark-blue shirt with hearts on it and it fits him better than Harry anyway, even if it a little too big. He thinks he can probably make Louis wear it to bed sometimes and he smiles to the image of it.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Follow me by Muse. Just because.


End file.
